Britney Spears Is "Embarrassed" Of Her Past, Cries Herself To Sleep

The singer says people make their lives seem perfect online but for her, she's still adjusting.

BYErika Marie
Matt Winkelmeyer / Staff / Getty Images

Just when Britney Spears was easing into life outside of the conservatorship that ruled her very existence for over a decade, the music icon was dealt another blow when her ex-husband attempted to paint her in a negative light. Spears has recently been taking to social media to air her family's dirty laundry after years of silence, and although it has made for some epic social media moments, it has also been a therapeutic release for the singer. However, recently Spears engaged in a spat with her ex-husband Kevin Federline who decided to post years-old videos of the singer arguing with her two sons.

The controversy landed Spears and her family back in headlines after after taking some time for reflection, the hitmaker returned with a lengthy Instagram caption where she spoke about her insecurities.

Ethan Miller / Staff / Getty Images

Spears said that social media makes it seem as if everyone's life is perfect while she struggles with the shame and embarrassment of her past.

"And who can forget those documentaries ??? So yes, I do try and post me looking my best or what it may seem to be the good life," she wrote. "Well the truth is, my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life  … there is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity … therapy, all of it !!! I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions. My life is by no means picture perfect … I cry myself to sleep most night."

She added that although she is a performer, she struggles with things like posing for photos or walking appropriately. People see her for the "act" that she provides on stage, but in real life, she doesn't have a "clue" what to do.

Read through the entirety of her message below.

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears)

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About The Author
Erika Marie is a seasoned journalist, editor, and ghostwriter who works predominantly in the fields of music, spirituality, mental health advocacy, and social activism. The Los Angeles editor, storyteller, and activist has been involved in the behind-the-scenes workings of the entertainment industry for nearly two decades. E.M. attempts to write stories that are compelling while remaining informative and respectful. She's an advocate of lyrical witticism & the power of the pen. Favorites: Motown, New Jack Swing, '90s R&B, Hip Hop, Indie Rock, & Punk; Funk, Soul, Harlem Renaissance Jazz greats, and artists who innovate, not simply replicate.