The release of her memoir has given the world an intimate look into Mariah Carey’s life like never before. For years, there have been rumors and speculation about her relationships with her siblings, especially considering her sister has often made headlines for her outrageous accusations. For instance, Alison Carey claimed that their mother would let strangers sexually abuse her when she was young for Satanic rituals. Carey has called her sister “heartless” and referred to both her siblings as her “ex-sister” and “ex-brother,” and when the singer sat down with Oprah Winfrey in a recent interview, she discussed what she allegedly endured as a child.

In her book The Meaning of Mariah Carey, the singer wrote, “When I was 12 years old, my sister drugged me with valium, offered me a pinky nail full of cocaine, inflicted me with third degree burns and tried to sell me out to a pimp.” Oprah Winfrey asked Carey about that passage. “We don’t even really know each other … we didn’t grow up together, but we did. Like, they were on their journeys, by the time I got into the world, they had already been damaged, in my opinion,” she said. “But again, I wasn’t there. I was dropped into this world and I literally felt like an outsider amongst my own family.”

“They just grew up with the experience of living with a Black father and a white mother together as a family and I was for the most part living with my mother, which they saw as easier, but in reality, it was not,” Mariah added. “They have always thought that my life was easy.” The Meaning of Mariah Carey hits shelves on September 29.