Jussie Smollett Talks Dealing with "Internalized Homophobia" Through Attack Scandal

BY Erika Marie 1425 Views
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Jussie Smollett
Smollett sat down to detail how he felt during the controversy and why he didn't want to be seen as just another gay man who got beat up.

The bulk of his court case is behind him, and now that he has been released from jail, Jussie Smollett is back on the scene. We all witnessed the drama that unfolded from the "did he or didn't he stage a hoax" madness—a moment in pop culture history where Smollett was on the receiving end of a backlash. Throughout the years, Smollett kept his visibility minimal and didn't sit down for many interviews, but he recently caught up with Sway Calloway to detail his experience.

"I didn't wanna do an interview," he said of his 2019 chat with ABC News. "I love and respect Robin Roberts... I did not want to do that interview. That interview wasn't for me, that was for my character."


Smollett claimed it took him a full year before he watched the interview back.

"I watched it and I was mortified. I mean, I was mortified. I mean, I cringed at just the—every single word that I said in that interview was the truth, but there was a certain level of performative nature that came from it because I didn't want to be there," he said. "I was so angry and so offended that I had to go on national television and explain something that happened to me. And it was so political, and it was all of those things, and I found myself dealing with my own internalized homophobia."

The openly gay actor also stated that his desire was "to represent all of us that had been assaulted based on who we are... but I also didn't wanna be associated with people who had been attacked."

"I'm genuinely sorry to say this... I felt like I just became a f*ggot that got his ass beat," he said. "Or at least I felt like that's what people saw me as. And so, I was trying so hard to, like, the posturing of, he hit me and then I hit his ass back and I was just like, 'Oh my God... You look ridiculous.'"

His family and friends also made sure to limit his access to the internet so he would be faced with a barrage of critics. When he did looks at what was being said, he was dejected.

"Worst idea ever," said Smollett. "I really saw what it was and it was so painful. Cause I was like, 'Ooh, he said that about me. Oh my God. Oh, she said that. What?" Watch his interview with Sway Calloway below.

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About The Author
Since 2019, Erika Marie has worked as a journalist for HotNewHipHop, covering music, film, television, art, fashion, politics, and all things regarding entertainment. With 20 years in the industry under her belt, Erika Marie moved from a writer on the graveyard shift at HNHH to becoming the Co-Head of Original Content. She has had the pleasure of sitting down with artists and personalities like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Salt ’N Pepa, Nick Cannon, Rah Digga, Rakim, Rapsody, Ari Lennox, Jacquees, Roxanne Shante, Yo-Yo, Sean Paul, Raven Symoné, Queen Naija, Ryan Destiny, DreamDoll, DaniLeigh, Sean Kingston, Reginae Carter, Jason Lee, Kamaiyah, Rome Flynn, Zonnique, Fantasia, and Just Blaze—just to name a few. In addition to one-on-one chats with influential public figures, Erika Marie also covers content connected to the culture. She’s attended and covered the BET Awards as well as private listening parties, the Rolling Loud festival, and other events that emphasize established and rising talents. Detroit-born and Long Beach (CA)-raised, Erika Marie has eclectic music taste that often helps direct the interests she focuses on here at HNHH. She finds it necessary to report on cultural conversations with respect and honor those on the mic and the hardworking teams that help get them there. Moreover, as an advocate for women, Erika Marie pays particular attention to the impact of femcees. She sits down with rising rappers for HNHH—like Big Jade, Kali, Rubi Rose, Armani Caesar, and Amy Luciani—to gain their perspectives on a fast-paced industry.

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