“Grown-Ish" Star Ryan Destiny Talks “How Many,” Pursuing Music, & Not Always Having It All Together

She's the multihyphenate "it" girl that has captivated viewers on shows like Star and Grown-ish, but Ryan Destiny's career started in music. A global audience has already been introduced to the several talents Ryan has to offer, and often, it can be easy to box her in as an actress with a big voice. Yet, Ryan has been pursuing music since her pre-teen days, even being a part of a girl group and signing a record deal. Acting catapulted her into stardom, but R&B-Pop aspirations have lingered.

Recently, Ryan shared her new single "How Many," and the accompanying visual was a stunning nod to R&B mavens of yesteryear. We've seen her star in music videos for artists like Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, and two for Big Sean. This time, she's taking center stage as she delivers a track about a cheating partner who has taken her for granted.

In our insightful 12 Days of Christmas interview with Ryan, she opens up about perfecting the balance in juggling multiple pursuits, especially as her acting career continues to elevate.

Read more from our interview with Ryan as she opens up about maintaining her privacy, only being in competition with herself, and being okay with not having it all together.

HNHH: Thank you so much for sitting down with us. Congratulations on the new single "How Many," the video is incredible, you look stunning.

Ryan Destiny: Aw, thank you so much.

Tell us all about the record, how it came to be, and who you worked with.

Yeah, so I worked on this record with a writer named [Rook Monroe] and a producer duo named Trackside. And I actually recorded this back in 2018, which is so crazy because it's just insane how the process goes. But yeah, I think we just wanted something to feel very authentic and like I was telling a story. And I think that's just what it feels like, those are some of my favorite, personally, my favorite R&B songs. When it literally just feels like they're telling the story of something that just happened to them. And that's how I wanted it to feel.

Unfortunately, you know, with a topic like this, it is very relatable with a lot of women. And yeah, I just really wanted to touch on that with a little bit of my own experiences with certain men and people that kind of just play you. And you really just want to say like, I'm not the one! [laughs] Like, no, it won't be me this time. You've done this a lot before, but it's not going to happen again. So, it's really just telling that whole story of that.

[Laughs] Because we need some new songs to add to our "men ain't..." playlists.

[Laughs] Absolutely! It's never enough.

And you've been really active in music pretty much forever. We saw you belting out songs on Star, but many people don't know your music aspirations started before you were a teenager.

Yeah.

With someone like you, the balance has to be so careful in pursuing two avenues at once. There is this separation of sorts: I'm thinking about Ryan Destiny, the actress, and Ryan Destiny, the person who could be on tour around the world, topping the charts. Where do you want to go musically as a singer?

I mean, it's always interesting. I feel like it's always something that's evolving in my mind. I feel like I thought I knew the answer to that a few years ago, but it's like turning into something completely different in a way with just how I see it and how I envision it. And just as time goes on, you kind of have to adapt to what's going on. Like, I never want to kind of miss out on something or put something, you know, hyper-focus on something and completely miss out on another opportunity.

So, it's something that I still have to struggle to find the balance with. Just being transparent, I feel like it's something that still has to kind of go day by day with it. And I'm very interested to see how my next year goes because it's probably going to be the hardest to juggle, just out of the past few years, because of the pandemic, and everything that went on, I feel like it really slowed a lot of things down. But now, since things are starting to pick back up, it's just going to be really interesting to see how it all really can be done, because of the projects that I have coming out, with acting, and then more things being produced, and then music as well. And just kind of how those two live together.

I think with me, personally, I try to not think too much on it, or else I'll go crazy. I think kind of splitting the two is something that I've found better for me. Kind of making them almost like alter egos. One is who I naturally am more as a person. So yeah, it's always trying to find the balance in that, and making sure I stay true and authentic to who I am, so it doesn't seem like I am lost or all over the place [laughs].

These are just things I genuinely love. And I don't see a true point of, you know, kind of masking one or the other to make other people feel comfortable when it's something that I really have always wanted to do.

Yeah, it's really comforting to hear when people are amassing all this success and they're still figuring it out day by day. How to balance their careers, lives... I think audiences often see a person like you, in your position, as having it all together and knowing exactly what will come around the corner. But often, many entertainers are just winging it and trying to make it work.

Absolutely. Yes, I wish I could have all the answers. That'd be very nice [laughs].

What kind of advice would you have—we're in a really great space where women are finding their placements, making their own lanes, really, especially within Hip Hop & R&B. They're finding their voices, becoming more visible. So, for those aspiring to reach a level of success that you have acquired, what little nugget of wisdom do you have for them?

Oh, I think it's so many things. I feel like I always tell people to tap into your patience because I think you're going to need that more than you realize. I know, for me, it was something that I knew. But as time kept going on, it was something that really had to like, [laughs] be truly understood on a different level.

And kind of remembering why you started doing what you do in the first place. Trying to just remember, like, your inner child to sort of pick you back up. Because things can get very uneasy and things just happen, like, life happens, all the time to everyone. As much as you try to plan everything out, and as much as you try to prepare for something, there's always going to be an obstacle and sometimes it can get really difficult to get through those things. So, it's very easy to give up, and I would just say try to literally remember why you wanted to do it in the first place. And that kind of, I know, for me, brings me back to the ground a little bit.

And know what's most important, and what's most important is you literally doing what you love more than anything else, more than the outcomes of things, more than the validation of others. But just really you, and making yourself happy, and doing what you have always wanted to. Just being in competition with yourself in a world where it feels like you have to be in competition with everyone else. And yeah, just try to hold on to that and remember that it's really important to me for sure.

I appreciate that, especially the competition part, because it's about you facing yourself, and not being at war with everybody else.

Yeah.

Let's shift gears a little bit. The holidays are upon us. 2022 is over, I have no idea where it went [laughs], but we are here. Are there any traditions that you have within your friend circle or family that you can share? Also, any goals for the new year?

I have a very simple family [laughs]. Like, we are very...yeah, that word simple. I wish I had some extravagant tradition I could say. But one thing that I grew up on just being like, a thing that was really exciting and happy for me is literally just putting up the tree.

When I was younger, it was such a thing for me. And my grandma is the one that taught me just how she would do it. And it just became this thing every year that became something that I kind of took over, especially when she passed. And it's just such an exciting—it just makes me feel like, 'Oh, this is really Christmas. Like, I'm so excited.' So, literally just that, putting up the Christmas tree is very, our family tradition for sure.

That's sweet! Alright, this is my last question. I ask it to everyone. The industry always comes with the veil of celebrity, right? People have expectations based on who they think you are. Your fans have one way of how they see Ryan Destiny, your team has their way, friends, family... What is something about the heart of who you are as a person that doesn't always translate because people see you as this put-together entertainer?

Hmm, that's a great question. I feel like because of the artist in me, entertainer in me, even just how I—the sort of era that I grew up on, too, with sort of just keeping things more private, keeping things a mystery, not letting everything out and be known. I feel like I've followed that in, of course, a different way, too. Because the way social media is now, it's kind of like, you have to give yourself up a little bit.

Yeeeah.

And so, even with, in doing that, I feel like it's so hard for people to just know who I am at the core as a person. Because I'm so comfortable with being private, I'm very comfortable with never talking and doing lives, like ever again [laughs], like, I'm so okay. So, I feel like people get, you know, they get this perception of me that I... Even just what you just said.

I literally am, like a perfectionist, and I sit and try to look like I have it all together. But it's less of that. It's really just, I don't like want to show everyone every single part of me. So, I think just the simple fact that I like literally am somebody that is always trying to learn and become a better person. And it sounds really cliche, but that's my goal, I think all the time throughout the years. Each year it just grows and I've become, I hope and I think, a little bit wiser and just having compassion for people and empathy for others. And trying not to judge others as much at all because I just know that it isn't the right way to go about life.

I think it's literally just that at the core of me. I'm a really, really simple person, I think, and I can get pretty boring at the same time [laughs]. So, I feel like I'm just always trying to understand what's the most important thing to me. And each year, I think that that gets just closer and closer to God in a way and just sort of finding those little gems in life that really is just the most important thing. And the older I get, I just think that it comes closer to that. I hope that answers your question because I feel like I just also rambled for like 10 minutes [laughs].

It was great! I love life in its evolution. I love to see the evolution of a person. Not just musically or even creatively, but those times when you can tell that they have endured a journey and continued to evolve from one path to the next. I think that's just what life is about. And hopefully, whatever is on that journey, whoever you run into, and whatever you see or do, you learn that lesson and it makes you a better person for the next encounter or the next opportunity. So, I really appreciate that answer, and just being transparent about that. Because I'm just a boring person as well! Like, you can't get me out of my house [laughs].

[Laughs] Yeah, that's me!

You can invite me to everything you want to, and I'm like, can you Skype me in? Is it Zoom? Can we FaceTime?

I know! [Laughs] Yes. No, literally.

I appreciate your time. You're gonna be a great addition to this series overall. And I just look forward to all the things you have coming up.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate talking to you and hopefully meeting you.

One of these days! Outside of our houses, obviously [laughs].

[Laughs] Yes! If both of us end up getting out of our house.