Ludacris' Best Punchlines

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Ludacris' most memorable one-liners and punchlines.

Punchlines are one of the most effective tools in hip-hop, and throughout his career, Ludacris has proved himself a master of them. While perfectly capable of turning his lyrics to more serious subjects (peep "Runaway" for that), Luda has become known for his ability to perfectly set up a joke with a preceding line and then knock it down with one witty bar.

With his hotly-anticipated album Ludaversal on its way, we're expecting to get a new batch of gut-busters from Chris Bridges very soon. For now, we're looking back on his extensive discography to find the best of his punchlines. With songs like "Coming 2 America" and "Cry Babies" that are basically one joke after another, this was a hard task. We definitely skipped over a few that were deserving in their own right, so let us know your favorites in the comments.


"Nobody thinkin' bout you, plus your beef ain't legit

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"Nobody thinkin' bout you, plus your beef ain't legit
So please stay off the T-I-P of my dick"

From Young Buck's "Stomp"

Dropped in the midst of his "King of the South" beef with T.I., this punchline gets bonus points for doubling as a vicious diss. 

"It's six years and countin' if you think I'm a joke

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"It's six years and countin' if you think I'm a joke
Me gettin' served is like Bill Gates and Oprah goin' broke"

From "Warning (Intro)"

Bill Gates and Oprah going broke? Very unlikely, as is besting Luda in a battle.

From "Cry Babies"

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"Then you can catch me in Rome mackin' some broads and sticking 'em
And you'll be at home picking your boogers and flicking 'em"

From "Cry Babies"

This track is pure, unadulterated shit-talking with Luda sending insane shade at his rivals.

Item #4

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"What's the remedy Hennessey Coke
If you cut all your money you'd still be half broke"

From "Game Got Switched"

Unfortunately, the government only recognizes ripped bills larger than 2/3s of their original size. Still funny though!

Item #5

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"I shoot videos and get knobs slobbed in trailers
Then hit stage and break a leg like Lawrence Taylor"

From "Word Of Mouf (Freestyle)"

For those of you who haven't seen the gruesome video of L.T. snapping Joe Theismann's leg in half, I'd advise you against it.

"They call me Seymour Butz, cause I get more ass than most"

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

From "Mouthing Off"

An old joke, but a good one.

Item #7

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"I take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater
And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader"

From "Hip Hop Quotables"

We're looking at you, Dick Cheney.

From "Freaky Thangs"

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"Tallywhacker is a rock hard stormtrooper
With a purple helmet, made for crushin pink cookies"

From "Freaky Thangs"

Another Star Wars reference for the win.

From "Shake N Fries"

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"It's Ludacris "Mr. Slay-A-Bitch"
Unless that pussy is smelling like a Filet-O-Fish"

From "Shake N Fries"

Chock full of McDonalds metaphors, this track is one of Luda's best.

From "Coming 2 America"

Ludacris' Best Punchlines

"My rap career goes back further than your father hairline
It's Ludacris - I pack more nuts than Delta Airlines"

From "Coming 2 America"

A two-in-one punchline to close this out. 

About The Author
<b>Feature Writer</b> Ever since he borrowed a copy of "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" from his local library, Patrick's love affair with hip-hop has been on an extended honeymoon phase. He now contributes features to HNHH, hoping to share his knowledge and passion with this site's broad audience. <strong>Favorite Hip Hop Artists:</strong> André 3000, Danny Brown, Kanye, Weezy, Gucci Mane, Action Bronson, MF DOOM, Ghostface Killah <strong>Favorite Producers:</strong> Lex Luger, Kanye (again), RZA, Young Chop, Madlib, J Dilla, Hudson Mohawke