As a longtime fan of 50 Cent's music, it feels only right to preface this latest chapter of the ongoing Targets Of The Week saga with some good news. Seven days ago, 50 revealed he was once again reuniting with both Scott Storch and Dr. Dre, the latter having requested his presence in the recording studio. With that in mind, allow yourself room to enjoy the following antics, guilt-free. Whether you originally came to love Fif's IG persona by way of his music, or simply developed a fondness for the gallows comedy of his page, few can deny his practiced and measured hand at striking terror in the hearts of friend and enemy alike. 

By now, everyone has come to fear "Fofty," the debt-collecting alter-ego, who can and will collect money and souls in no particular order. Some say Randall Emmett still cries out in terror at the sound of twin quarters hitting the floor. Yet 50 has only grown in both confidence and net worth upon leaving the producer in his wake, setting his sites on any and all to ever dip a toe into his money pool. Friend or foe, such trivial labels matter not. When Fofty takes over, not even a silver bullet can stop him. Unless, of course, you melt it down and mold it into a coin of sorts.

DINNER & A SHOW 

It's appropriate to have set this journey off with a reminder of Fifty's glory days, working alongside the talented tandem of Storch and Dre. After all, was 50 himself not once a young rapper, trying to set himself apart from the rest? Of course, there's the fact that his rise came accompanied with actual music, with Power Of The Dollar having set the local streets abuzz long before social media antics ever took shape. Even when Fifty did begin trolling the game at large, he did so in a lyrical fashion, calling out names on the infamous "How To Rob." Therefore, when an up-and-coming artist accosted him during a date night, begging for a chance, it didn't take long for the situation to veer left. 

In the clip below, a party who shall not be named - instead hereby referred to as "The Third Wheel" - all but begs 50 to check out his Instagram page. Regardless of circumstance, Fif is having none of the unceremonious interruption; date night is a way of life, not to be disrupted by the likes of wayward struggle rappers. "Are you crazy man?" asks an exasperated Fifty. "It's not going to work. You stupid. The way you approaching it is wrong. There's nothing to play right now. There's nothing you can show me right now that's going to help you. 'Look at my IG' is going to help you?"

Whether Fifty actively avoided his IG out of sheer principle remains unknown, though one has to wonder if he ultimately snuck a peek. In any case, 50 is never one to miss a business opportunity. "Look at my IG" shirts are available now, in a size of your choosing.

A TONY YAYO SCORNED

Loyalty is all well and good, but what's the G-Unit code of honor stacked against a debt unpaid? Tony Yayo found out the hard way that Fifty, in an elephant-esque fashion, forgets absolutely nothing - least of all where coppers are concerned. Despite their shared history, Yayo recently found himself on the receiving end of a Fofty scolding, which unfolded for our benefit in real time. The phone conversation, documented for 50's own records, went as follows:

50 Cent: What's up, what you doing? 

Tony Yayo: I'm mackin, man. 

50 Cent: I called you cause I was thinking about people that got to give me my money back. *Sips soda*

TY: (after a long pause) Aw man, here we go...Come on big homie, what you talking about!

50: I wasn't even talking about you, but now that you said that, you should give me back some of the money I've been giving you.

TY: *Unintelligible* We friends, n***a! What are you talking about! 

50: Friend!?! I don't got no friends! I love you boy, but you need to give me some of that money back now that I think about it. I was going through people that's supposed to give me my money. 

TY: Yo homie, come on man. You know I love you too. Come on man, don't do me like that. Shit, you want me to shoot somebody? I'll pay you back like that. 

Though the conclusion went unfinished, 50 proceeded to share the conversation on his page. The video prompted Yayo to slide in the comment section to voice his disproval. "You put this up you tripping homie," he writes. A drama setter indeed. 

ET TU, BUCK?

At this point, Young Buck and 50 Cent's relationship has put the stale in stalemateNeither party seems willing to participate in the previously-teased rap beef, and Buck certainly has yet to express intentions of paying up. We've seen both parties sling mud at one another, with 50 finding it difficult to abstain from dragging Buck's sexuality at any given opportunity. It's gotten relatively ugly, and looks primed to continue down that road unless one man happens to undergo a change of heart. 

Yet perhaps we're witnessing a cry for help, a man desperate to get the band back together by any means necessary, even if it means tearing them apart at the seams. At this rate, one has to wonder whether 50 intends on reaching out to Lloyd Banks, in order to complete the G-Unit trifecta. We can only hope that Scott Storch has the decency to mediate this situation. Lord knows we're running out of options.