He goes by many names. Firm Handshake. The Time Traveler's Wife. The Independent Variable. Mr. Leftward-Sloping Penis. Most recognizably, Lil Dicky.
The Richmond graduate turned professional rapper has been making a unique impact on the rap game, using his undeniable blend of hilarity, charisma, and clever lyricism to establish his presence in the game. What started as a platform to launch his comedy career quickly turned the rapper into a viral sensation, with videos like "Ex-Boyfriend" and "Lion King" earning him millions of early views. Shortly after, LD dropped his debut mixtape So Hard, which straddled the line between comedy and genuinely dope hip-hop. While some were quick to write Dicky off for his comedic vibe, his legitimately solid flow and clever brand of lyricism kept him hovering in a unique, somewhat uncharted territory.
Eventually, he dropped his debut album Professional Rapper, which featured guest appearances from Snoop Dogg, Rich Homie Quan, and Fetty Wap. Dicky also landed a spot on XXL's 2016 Freshman class, alongside Anderson Paak, Kodak Black, Denzel Curry & more. It seemed as if Dicky's foray into the rap game was earning him the respect of his peers, with co-signs from Snoop, Busta Rhymes, and The Game, who told him "‘let me say something to you: The realest people I know fuck with you.’"
Right now, Dicky is coming off the release of his surprise EP, the alter-ego driven I'm Brain. While the project is, at least on the surface, largely driven by Dicky's autotune laden alter-ego, the rapper appears on most of the songs and delivers some solid material. For a rapper who once openly worried about his potential content, it seems that his elevated platform and fame have given him ample lyrical material to explore on further projects. And while his goofiness and general demeanor are a stark contrast from the hip-hop norm, one thing remains certain:
Lil Dicky has some bars. Absurd, hard, profound, hilarious bars. To prove it, here are fifteen of LD's best, in no particular order.
"Bars"
Album: So Hard
The game has gotta change, used to listen to Jay
Up on the train, now they floodin' the waves with 2 Chainz
I feel like I separate with my lines like 2 lanes
It's a dark knight when the joker's better than them banes
"The Antagonist"
Album: Professional Rapper
They playing Dicky, everybody in the room be like "That's some shit"
Play 'em your bum ass, they be like "That's some shit"
Y'all are bubbles with the rapping
Lil Dicky get it popping, you could say he bubble wrapping
The irony in all of this is I been funny rapping
Yet the young'n snapping to the point where all of y'all look funny rapping
"Professional Rapper"
Album: Professional Rapper
Well I don’t know if they can run it like that
But ain’t nobody else doing funny type rap
What’s that?
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
"Tim Westwood Freestyle"
Album: N/A
Oh my god, I’m popping out in Europe
Oh, they slipping, gotta wipe the floor up
I’m the type of dude that never liked decorum
I give no fucks, I’m farting at the urinal
Mama used to call me Davey-Wavy
Twenty years later, Davey wavy
"How Can U Sleep" ft. The Game
Album: I’m Brain
I'm really adamant, you're really adequate
I'm really passionate, I'm Billy Madison
I'm the motherfucking graduate
Twenty ten with a pen, I didn't plan this shit
My plan legit, I manuscript it
It was living by the candle stick
But for the plaques I had to mantle it
"Truman"
Album: Professional Rapper
I said, "We don't gotta get into it"
She like "Nah, just do it," she a psychology student
She always followin' up
Find the guy to be amusing as fuck
Usually I'll answer her truthfully
But truthfully, I'm unusually used to being unusually good at internalizing when music is not provided
But I humor hoe, ask her if she ever saw the Truman Show
She like yeah
I like well, when I saw that shit I was convinced I was livin' like Jim
A similar situation where I was the basis of everyone's entertainment
"Attached At The Hip"
Album: So Hard
(Rapping from the point of view of his penis)
Hold up, Dicky, you ain't really mean it
You got the nerve to tell me you the one mistreated?
I don't believe it, it's nothing but egregious
Cause I'm the one that's been getting beaten obscenely
"Lemme Freak"
Album: Professional Rapper
I'm like, "Aw..." Pulling out my phone like a boss
YouTube 'bout to get her off
But as I type the y-o-u, some porno pop up
I'm like, "Hold up, how did... that's not even me
Like, I don't jerk off mobily..."
"Lion King"
Album: Lion King (Single)
But Africa is full of brothers, one is Uncle Scar
And that motherfucker wasn't nothing funny son, he hard
And he mad too 'cause he just want to be the man too
First it was his brother, now another king is brand new
Baboon drawing on a tree, you dig?
There's something freaky 'bout Rafiki, bet his weed legit
"The Cypher"
Album: So Hard
So prepare for my libido
It's really fuckin scary, Action Bronson in a speedo
It's really fuckin scary, Magic Johnson near mosquitos
But I'm nearly fuckin there, these bitches bout to feed me Cheetos
"Pillow Talking"
Album: Professional Rapper
What if tomorrow is the day
That the fucking aliens came and invaded our nation?
Like, would we even be able to fuck with their shit?
Like, do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ships?
Or not at all, like, would they just walk up in this motherfucker
Laughin' at us, and blastin' at us
And makin' everybody disintegrate and assimilate
Without a hint of intimidation?
"The Antagonist"
Album: Professional Rapper
Every now and then you wanna spazz
Why I didn't go with jazz, mafucka
Get up in yo ass, mafucka
Y'all are trash, you ain't even know the half
I could rattle off a lot if I position the rap game
But honestly I'm not in the position for that claim
To carry any weight, I just gotta carry on and wait
'Til a motherfucker carry all the weight
"Bruh"
Album: Professional Rapper / Sway Freestyle
How I'ma do?
I got your ex coming next like a W do
I gotta flex, I'm the best, now I'm being direct
I'm unimpressed by these bitches that I see in the press
I'm kinda vexed by the trash like I'm cleaning a mess
Cause they as real when they rap as a Chia's a pet
They old news, stocks plummet, men's leg hair, they ain't cut it
"Save Dat Money"
Album: Professional Rapper
You ain't heard of Lil Dave, Yung L the Jew biz major?
Fuck you know about the world he raised in?
I've been savin' money since a motherfucker thirteen
I wear the same pair of jeans everyday (It's true)
Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away (It's true)
Book flight December but I leave in May (I do)
Drugs are generic but still work the same
I get logins for Netflix from my cousin Greg (Thanks Greg!)
"Way Too High"
Album: So Hard
Ma brain is bein strange, cause I'm high as a plane
I ain't deranged, I'm just saying it's a violent strain
So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars
Dipping snacks, kicking back, staring at some Avatars
Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit
Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script
How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a blueish green
7' 3'' tail having ass thing?
