Santa Kells was lucky to walk away with his sack on Friday night.
R. Kelly visited the famed Fox Theatre in Detroit on Friday night (Dec. 2) in an effort to spread some holiday cheer as part of his "12 Nights of Christmas" tour. Little did he know that he'd be the recipient of the rare gift known as the OTPHJ. The singer is known to get intimate with his fans, though he's lucky to still have his jewels intact after making his nether regions vulnerable to one particular lady, who positioned herself at the front of the stage with the intent of making a play for Kells' most prized instrument.
To be fair, the fan was basically following orders. "Keep rubbin' it baby," sings Kells, clearly directing her hands below the belt. The woman's rubbing efforts are reminiscent of the under-the-table scene in "Wedding Crashers." "Now grab it," he yells triumphantly, suddenly jutting out his pelvis to reveal the "it" in question. Even he couldn't have predicted just how forceful the ensuing grasp was. He was lucky to back away in enough time to avoid dismemberment.
Kells was so surprised at the audacity of the woman's left hand that he had to stop singing to regain his composure. "That's how they do it in the D?" he asked the crowd, seemingly made up of mostly females. "I like that shit," he then exclaimed. When it comes to a woman's hands, I suppose Kells believes no chill is better than too much. It so happens that this isn't the first time Kells has performed this song and commanded his female attendees to "grab it." Still, he'd likely never experienced a clench like the one he got in the big D.
Watch the NSFW footage below.