Nearly fourteen months after the shock passing of Los Angeles Lakers and NBA legend Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, Vanessa Bryant is speaking out about life after their deaths, describing the pain she feels as "unimaginable".

Kobe's widow has been keeping herself busy in the year following the Hall-of-Famer's tragic passing, taking charge of some of the entertainment and literature-based projects he was working on before the crash. While she's been attempting to move on from her trauma, Vanessa explains that she has days where she doesn't imagine how she and her family will continue without Kobe and Gigi. She spoke to PEOPLE Magazine for their latest cover story about how she's feeling.

"This pain is unimaginable [but] you just have to get up and push forward," said Bryant. "Lying in bed crying isn't going to change the fact that my family will never be the same again. But getting out of bed and pushing forward is going to make the day better for my girls and for me. So that's what I do."

She says that in order to "find light in the darkness", she looks to her late husband and daughter for guidance. "I guess the best way to describe it is that Kobe and Gigi motivate me to keep going. They inspire me to try harder and be better every day. Their love is unconditional and they motivate me in so many different ways."

Vanessa adds that her daughters help her "smile through the pain" and that she wants to make them proud through her day-to-day.

Read Vanessa Bryant's cover story with PEOPLE at the link below.


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