This Zoo Will Let You Name A Rat After Your Ex & Watch It Be Eaten On Valentine's Day

The San Antonio Zoo will be live-streaming their very first "Cry Me A Cockroach" event on Valentine's Day.

BYNoah C
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As people becomes increasingly consumed by digital devices and increasingly opposed to animal cruelty, the popularity of zoos must surely be suffering. This being the case, zoos are being forced to come up with more creative marketing tactics to attract engagement. The San Francisco Zoo just landed on one that definitely deserves to be applauded for its creativity. 

Their upcoming Valentine's Day campaign relies on two simple premises: (1) People hate their exes and (2) People like watching content online. Given that they seem to have found a way to check off both these boxes, the San Francisco Zoo's “Cry Me a Cockroach” event should be a hit. For the first time ever, the zoo is giving YOU the opportunity to name a rat or cockroach after your ex so you can derive satisfaction from the fact that it will be eaten by another animal. You can select the cockroach option for the very low price of $5! However, “If your ex was a snake", as the advertisement reads, you can upgrade to the rat for $25. 

If you are lucky enough to live close to the zoo, you can watch the feedings in person throughout the day on Friday (Feb. 14). People who participate in this initiative will receive a certificate from the zoo so they can share it on social media and prove to their friends how totally over their exes they are!

To partake in the most vengeful event of the year, you must submit your nemesis' name to the zoo's website by Thursday, Feb. 13 at 5 PM local time. 


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<b>Staff Writer</b> <!--BR--> Noah's first interaction with hip-hop was in first grade when he bought Jay-Z's "The Blueprint,” which was quickly confiscated by his mother and replaced with Bow Wow's "Unleashed" as a compromise. Noah's favorite album is his playlist of Playboi Carti leaks. The greatest source of joy in Noah's life is anything Lil Uzi Vert does on social media.