It's been a difficult road for Lamar Odom. He's battled trauma, pain, abuse, addictions, a near-death experience, and recovery. He is now facing a life without basketball, something that is counted as yet another loss, as it was recently announced that he's been deactivated from the BIG3 League. The former Los Angeles Lakers star shared his disappointment with the league's decision on Instagram, but he made it clear that he's walking away from his brief experience with a positive outlook.

Days later, the Darkness To Light best-selling author decided to be transparent with his 473,000 followers on IG in hopes of inspiring them with his story. "We think we live, but many of us we really don’t; we are on auto pilot," Odom wrote. "We are not even aware of this until conflict knocks down our doors. These moments or periods make us reflect back on ourselves. Who is really in control of my life? Me or my past? Have I become everything I hated? My beautiful escape from the pain of life has always been basketball. The first thing I did when I heard that my Mom passed away, was run to my childhood court in Lincoln park and escape there. Being deactivated from the Big 3 has made me realize that I can no longer depend on basketball to find emotional relief from the inevitable hurdles of life. I've made a decision to stop this time, reflect for real and not run away or escape - not into basketball or anything else."

Odom said that in this time, he's dedicated to rebuilding his relationships with his children because he doesn't want them to inherit his dysfunctions and traumas. "Together with my daughter Destiny and the mother of my children, Liza Morales, I am going to use this opportunity to connect to my children and break the cycle of my past," he wrote. "All three of us have been through extreme difficulties, individually and as a family, that we have not spoken about."

He also announced that he's partnered with MicDrop, a motivational public speaking firm that helps people heal through effective communication. The company shared a promo video starring Odom that begins with them asking if the sports star is happy. He responds by telling them no. When they ask why not, he quickly states that there are many reasons, none of which he wanted to talk about. Check it out below.