The El Chapo indictment is exactly the type of conversation fodder to bridge the cultural divide. Every twist and turn during his historic run as the perennial Narco king is inevitably skewed by perception. But with every fib comes an element of truth, and even if 90% of the inquisition into El Chapo criminal activity were proven false, we'd still have a Peter Jackson trilogy to show for it.

El Chapo's own mistress is the latest witness summoned to the stand. Her account of a harrowing escape to the depths of the Mexican sewer system brought the courthouse to an utter state of bewilderment. Lucero Guadalupe Sánchez López contends that she and El Chapo were buck naked when deputies of the law came-a-knocking at the window. It would seem, El Chapo aka Joaquín Guzmán Loera upheld his promise to never embark in foreplay, without a well-conceived escape route in mind. 

Field reporters representing the New York Times, in the court of law, remarked that Lucero Guadalupe "still appeared to be in love with the drug lord—at one point erupting into tears on the stand." And to make things even saucier El Chapo's own wife, Emma Coronel Aispuro, was in the room as Lucero took to the witness stand.