Cyn Santana Cries Watching Joe Budden Proposal: "I Really Wanted My Family"

The new season of "Love & Hip Hop New York" is upon us.

BYErika Marie
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Ahead of the two-hour Love & Hip Hop New York premiere, VH1 took its cast members through a walk down memory lane. Some people sat and watched old footage of themselves fighting and carrying on, but Cyn Santana's moment could be considered the most emotional. It was around this time last year when Joe proposed to Cyn during a live broadcast of his podcast with Rory and Mal. The moment was captured by Love & Hip Hop cameras and was featured on the show's last season, but since then, the pair have decided to call off their engagement. They've since gone their separate ways and are working on a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Months ago, Cyn chatted with Tiffany "New York" Pollard about her split from Joe, saying that it was a decision she had to make for her future. "I did what was best for my mental health, for my peace, and for me and my son," she stated at the time. "Basically, let's just sat that I'm probably the happiest that I've ever been. And that was probably the best decision I've made in my entire life in the 26 years I've been living on this earth. The best decision I made was leaving that relationship, and my son and I are amazing."

While watching footage of Joe's proposal recently along with loving highlights of their relationship, Cyn became so overwhelmed with emotion that she walked off. Out of frame, Cyn can be heard sobbing as a producer tells her, "It's okay." The same producer offers her a hug as Cyn continues to cry. "It's so hard," she said between tears. "I really wanted my family."  The producer told her, "You can still work on your family." Cyn replied, "It's not the same. I'm not going back out there." 

When she returned to the set, Cyn has composed herself. "It's been a year since this," she said. "That was just a really beautiful moment for me. I'm sad and disappointed and...it's just hard. It's hard when you really want things to work and they're not working on your time or according to your plan. I got faith and hope for days and years and at the end of the day, that's the father of my son. Family is super important to me. It's different now." Watch below.


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About The Author
Erika Marie is a seasoned journalist, editor, and ghostwriter who works predominantly in the fields of music, spirituality, mental health advocacy, and social activism. The Los Angeles editor, storyteller, and activist has been involved in the behind-the-scenes workings of the entertainment industry for nearly two decades. E.M. attempts to write stories that are compelling while remaining informative and respectful. She's an advocate of lyrical witticism & the power of the pen. Favorites: Motown, New Jack Swing, '90s R&B, Hip Hop, Indie Rock, & Punk; Funk, Soul, Harlem Renaissance Jazz greats, and artists who innovate, not simply replicate.