Chrissy Teigen was in the news for all the wrong reasons this week after news came out that years ago she used to DM then 16-year old Courtney Stodden unimaginable things like telling Courtney to “kill herself” and that she “hates her.” Those are just a couple of the many abusive tweets and DM’s that Chrissy sent to Courtney back in the day, but she’s trying to own up for her mistakes now.

Following this week’s public backlash after Courtney opened up about the abuse, Chrissy took to Twitter this afternoon and expressed how “mortified” she is for what she used to do. Chrissy says she is “ashamed and completely embarrassed” at her behavior, but that that’s nothing to how she made Courtney felt. Chrissy tweeted:

“Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bullshit in front of the entire world,” Teigen tweeted. “I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel. I have worked so hard to give you guys joy and be beloved and the feeling of letting you down is nearly unbearable, truly. These were not my only mistakes and surely won’t be my last as hard as I try but god I will try!! I have tried to connect with Courtney privately but since I publicly fueled all this, I want to also publicly apologize. I’m so sorry, Courtney. I hope you can heal now knowing how deeply sorry I am.”

Courtney has since responded to Chrissy’s apology, and she looks to be all for accepting the apology but she doesn't know how genuine and sincere it is. "I accept her apology and forgive her. But, the truth remains the same, I have never heard from her or her camp in private. In fact, she blocked me on Twitter," Courtney tells TMZ. "All of me wants to believe this is a sincere apology, but it feels like a public attempt to save her partnerships with Target and other brands who are realizing her 'wokeness' is a broken record."