Cardi B Pleads Her Case Regarding The Ideal Lighting For Sex

Cardi B is a fierce TV lighting advocate.

BYNoah C
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The volume at which Cardi B delivers her impassioned Instagram monologues can distract from the points she is trying to get across. But if you manage to detect the argument beneath the surface noise, she's often talking facts. Last night's discussion topic was the ideal lighting for sex. Cardi's selfie videos tend to be so fascinating because she has such strong opinions on the minutiae that is overlooked. 

While it might not be that uncommon to have preferences regarding the ambiance of a room that one chooses to have sex in, not many would be able to give you as detailed of a pros and cons list as Cardi to defend said preferences. In her latest Instagram post, Cardi breaks down why only having a TV turned on in a room ensures for the most pleasant sexual experience. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2LGAprgVdC

She starts by arguing why a fully-lit room can ruin intercourse, periodically interrupting herself with the ad-lib, "AM I LYING?". Essentially, she doesn't want to see her partner in HD detail. "If I see a pimple on a n**** face, it distract me from cumming because now I wanna pop the pimple." In a Goldilocks manner, she then moves on to explaining why total darkness is not the move. "You know you start seeing monsters when it's too dark and shit. Oh, bitch, I'm scared I wanna get out of here." Lastly, she justifies why the blue-tinged glow of a TV makes everything just right for love-making. "You know when you're in the club, when that blue light is on and everyone looks beautiful." 

Whether you agree or not, you must admit, she pleads her case rather persuasively.

 


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About The Author
<b>Staff Writer</b> <!--BR--> Noah's first interaction with hip-hop was in first grade when he bought Jay-Z's "The Blueprint,” which was quickly confiscated by his mother and replaced with Bow Wow's "Unleashed" as a compromise. Noah's favorite album is his playlist of Playboi Carti leaks. The greatest source of joy in Noah's life is anything Lil Uzi Vert does on social media.