Lucifer. The Great Deceiver. Satan. Beelzebub. Big Red. The Devil. He goes by many titles, assumes many forms. Today, rapper slash political pundit in training Cardi B has put forth a new interpretation, equating the Dark Prince to an unlikely force: "the dick." Of course, the comparison is likely symbolic in nature; far be it for Cardi B to set up phallic shrines in her basement, adorned with all manner of woodland creatures and alchemical properties. It's far more probable that Cardi is alluding to her ongoing on-again-off-again relationship with Offset, analogous in nature to hip-hop's "Rachel and Ross," or a tumultuous couple more to your choosing. In her newfangled world, sixsixsix has become dixdixdix.

Equating the "dick" to the Devil himself certainly has negative connotations, unless Cardi is living under a permanent spell of "if it's wrong I don't wanna be right." Interestingly enough, The Church Of Satan took a break from suing The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina to weigh in on Cardi's metaphor with a surprising co-sign. It would appear that they too, as authorities on the subject, believe the "dick-as-devil" theory holds considerable weight. Perhaps Cardi B's political aspirations are, in fact, well grounded. She seems quite popular with them religious types.