After posting (and deleting) a 22-minute audio detailing the horrors of her conservatorship, Britney Spears has returned with more confessions and messages for her family members.
"I can totally understand why my family would have a problem with me doing my own thing, maybe 'cuz I never have," Spears began in the audio uploaded to her feed on Monday (September 5).
Britney Spears and her sons in 2013 -- Jason Merritt/TERM/Getty Images
"I'm sure it is a little different and a touch lighter, me not being responsible for three 18-wheeler trucks with tour equipment and thousands of people to be responsible for on tour, and Dad and my Robin in the corner of every room I've had to be in for the last 20 years," she continued before directly addressing her eldest son, who recently said he was praying for her in an interview.
"So, Jayden, as you undermine my behaviour – just like my whole family always has – with 'Hope she gets better,' 'I will pray for her'... Pray for what? I keep working so I can pay off mom's legal fees and her house. Do you guys want me to get better so I can continue to give your dad $40K a month? Or is the reason behind you guys deciding to be hateful because it's actually over in two years and you don't get anything?"
Spears continued to speak to her 15-year-old, saying, "I will say it, I sat in that kitchen and looked you straight in the eyes, beautiful boy, and said, 'How come I can't see you guys anymore? Or just see you guys more? I look forward to seeing you guys weekly.' You said, 'Mama, oh, it'll change.'"
According to the pop star, Jayden and his younger brother "left [her]" in a house, "always two hours early." Her youngest son, Preston, would sleep while Jayden played the piano. "If I didn't shower you guys with gifts and have amazing food ready and play a motherf*cking saint, it was still never good enough," she recalled.
Spears claims that after she asked her child to see him more, he called his father, and she never saw him again. "I didn't do anything wrong," the 40-year-old vented. "I know I'm not perfect, but the love I've given you and how much I adore you and your diplomatic ways, speaking like PaPa, 'This can be fixed, I will see her when she is better.'"
"Jayden, I was lucky I could even have a normal conversation when I got out of that place," the Mississippi-born performer continued. "You were just like my other family, you secretly loved looking at me as if something was wrong with me."
After more ranting, the Blackout artist admitted that she no longer believes in God due to the suffering she's endured throughout her conservatorship and beyond. "There is nothing to believe anymore, I'm an atheist y'all," she concluded.
Check it all out below, and tap back in with HNHH later for more pop culture news updates.
