Best Eminem Bars On "Revival"

Eminem is one of the most gifted lyricists to ever grace the microphone. His mastery of the English language seems like a fantasy, especially considering the man never graduated high-school. Throughout his career, Marshall has effortlessly created art with syllable-bending metaphors and sadistic wordplay, and last week, Marshall released his ninth studio album, Revival, to mixed reviews. While some longtime fans bashed Revival as Em’s worst album yet, others praised it as his best effort in over a decade.

I can agree that Eminem’s delivery is cringe-worthy at times, but lyrically, Revival holds its own against many major rap album released this year. Although political statements have never been off-limits for Slim, on Revival he takes his “Mosh” angst to the next level, attacking Donald Trump continuously throughout the album. Even if Em's anti-Trump message may arguably miss the mark on songs like “Like Home” or “Untouchable,” his motives remain admirable; middle-aged white men lacking college degrees are Donald’s most precious demographic, so it’s amazing to see a middle-aged white man without a degree continuously bashing Agent Orange.

Outside of the overly politicized singles, Em’s lyrical content hasn’t changed much. Yes, his views on love, fatherhood, and family have matured throughout the years, but the rap veteran is still heavily invested in broadcasting his relationship with his daughters, mother, and ex-wife. And while Revival features many emotional cuts, Revival also features the inevitable return of Slim Shady. His rude, misogynistic, and violent humor is still sharp, and I found myself laughing at lyrics about rape and violence during a time where people seem to get offended at the slightest remark. Not to say men like Harvey Weinstein don’t deserve to be destroyed, but it's still satisfying to hear Marshall assault the masses with his unapologetic sense of gallows humor. 

Em’s lyrical onslaught reaches feverish heights on “Offended,” “Framed,” and “Chloraseptic,” easily the best tracks on Revival. It’s on those records the Em reminds us that he’s one of the best to ever do it. Would your favorite rapper diss Em? I doubt it. The power of Marshall’s pen is too powerful to battle. Whether you hated Revival or you loved it, his lyrical prowess remains his strongest attribute. Don’t believe me? Well, here are the best lyrics from Em’s latest project. You be the judge.

"Walk in the arraignment/
Shoot the bailiff, karate kick the plaintiff/
Gotti with the stainless/I'll just call it shoddy entertainment/
If y'all was in the party gettin' faded/
On molly, had the audience sedated/ You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted."

"So let's get turnt like a shish kabab/Twist it, Ma, like an air-conditioning knob."

“The hip with hop, still on point and poignant/
Skilled as Floyd is/
In this field, and still no filter, boy/
I'll put you in your place (yeah) like a realtor, boy/
You still ain't in the building, boy.”

"Actually, Just shit on my last chick and she has what me ex lacks."

“What kind of nut drives a Budweiser truck/
Finds a slut, tries to surprise her, cuffs, ties her up/
Binds up, cuts, slices her twice?/
But the muff diver must just like it rough/
Fuck right in her vagina, blood/
Flies up on the visor, like a geyser, uh."

“Still on the loose, they/
Spotted me inside McDonald's, Tuesday/
In a Toronto Blue Jays cap, lookin' like your college roommate/
With Rihanna, Lupe, Saddam Hussein, Bobby Boucher/
Or was it Cool J? The cops is on a goose chase."

“Someone get this Aryan a sheet/
Time to bury him, so tell him to prepare to get impeached/
Everybody on your feet/
This is where terrorism and heroism meet, square off in the streets/
This chump barely even sleeps/
All he does is watch Fox News like a parrot and repeats/
While he looks like a canary with a beak/
Why you think he banned transgenders from the military with a tweet?” 

“'Cause I'm tearin' at your flesh with it/
'Til your larynx and neck are split/
With these lyrics, weapons, expert with/
Like hair extensions, extra clips.”

“Wanna wrap you up, put you in a bow like an arrow/
Grab you by the (meow!), hope it's not a problem, in fact/
About the only thing I agree on with Donald is that/
So when I put this palm on your cat/
Don't snap, it's supposed to get grabbed/
Why do you think they call it a snatch?”

“Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol/
And go through no withdrawal/
While I get fellatio and give a facial to/
An interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal."

“We just want a safe environment for our kids, but can’t escape the sirens/
Don’t take a scientist to see our violent nature lies in/
The poverty that we face so the crime rate’s the highest in/
The lowest classes, it's like a razor wire fence/
And we’re trapped in these racial biases."

“Like a skunk in heat/
I could sweat her to some degree/
But fuck it, I'm the male, let her come to me.”

“You've been trash, stick your raps in the trash bin/
Or end up in my next rhyme, you're a fuckboy, so next time/
It's gonna be heads flyin' like Dez Bryant/
With a TEC-9 against Rex Ryan." 

“Knife in hand, says their relationship's hangin' by a strand/
So she's been on the web lately, says maybe she'll be my Gwen Stacy,/
To spite her man."

"Eight year old with the wordplay/
Girl, take this pole like a survey/
Today wasn't my birthday/
But I'm caked up like a dessert tray/
So we're in shape, 'cause you're in a slurrin' state/ I’m a ten, you’re an eight/
Like what I do before, after and during rape."

 “Didn't wanna piss your base off, did ya?/
Can't denounce the Klan, 'cause they play golf with ya.”

“I was there consolin' you when no one knew it/
When your situation showed no improvement/
I was that door, you walked over to it/
I'm the light at the end of tunnel/
So people are always lookin' at me as they're goin' through it."

“Yeah, you're a cute fox/
Perfect ten so back that up like a moonwalk/
Girl, you're smokin' like Snoop Dogg."

“The swastika with your name carved in it/
Should be your trademark, 'cause hate's all you played off/
And you just lick the plate off/
So I guess it pays to feed off of chaos/
So basically, you ate off Hitler!”

 “I threw up on myself, I'm dumb sick, I'm addicted to her/
She's tryna block the door, so here's how I do her/
Since I'm manure, she's a sewer/
And this time this piece of shit's running through her."

“'Cause I'm awake and you're mourning/
That's why I rise and I shine, like a new day has dawned on me.”

"You're still copyin', Xeroxing, I'm still coppin' a feel/
Like Bill Cosby at will, popping a pill/
Then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee/
Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly and still groggy/
This blonde fuck's reprehensible/
Misconducts, never sensible/
Kiss my butt, my set of principles/
Is gone, but till I get the President to respond/
My pen and pencil is a missile launcher/
And send it to Mitch McConnell/
Just as big of a bitch as Donald."

Doody, I'm trying, but you, you were the glue that binded /
So many things—time, I'd give anything to rewind it /
I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded /
By pictures all on my walls and I couldn't sleep at night 'cause /
That image burned in my brain of you on that table /
Me falling across your body, not able to stand to save you /
God, why did you take him? /
I'm tryna keep his legacy alive, but I'm dying, where's Nathan? /
Little ladies, be brave, take care of your mother /
Smile pretty for pictures, always cherish each other