10. FREDDIE GIBBS
Freddie Gibbs – The only thing more perplexing than “who the hell keeps buying those French Montana records?” is “who the hell keeps going to those damn Tyler Perry movies?” especially the ‘Madea’ franchise. A quick google search reveals that the next installment is ‘Madea’s Witness Protection’, so it looks like Freddie Gibbs is onto something.
9. 50 CENT
50 Cent – Times sure have changed for Curtis. In the past he was embroiled in some of the most heated beefs in hip hop, and now he’s squashing beef with the person he describes as ‘the biggest entertainer of middle aged white women’. As a sign of disrespect, Fif had named his dog ‘Oprah’, after the entertainment mogul. Could this be a trend that continues in rap beef, do you think Drake is going to name his ferret ‘Chris Brown’?
8. DIDDY
Diddy – Back in ’97 Diddy’s brand of bling-rap filled the airwaves with choruses featuring his running man, Ma$e, redundantly repeating how they ‘can’t stop…won’t stop’. Initially, it seemed like just another catchy hook, but after the third season of ‘Making the Band’ it became quite clear that Diddy might literally be unable to physically stop.
7. RZA
Rza – Another duo that ruled the rap game in the late 90’s was Redman and Method man. After, several albums, a movie, and even a deodorant sponsorship it’s comforting to see the modern day Cheech n’ Chong are ‘Still Smokin’.
6. JUST BLAZE
Just Blaze – Just Blaze is perpetuating a truly unjust stereotype. The loud inconsiderate movie-goer comes in all races. Last weekend an Asian dude sat directly beside me, 20 minutes into ‘Prometheus’ in a half-full theater, and he proceeded to play on his iPhone the entire time. One thing though, yelling at a movie screen because the projector is malfunctioning is like smashing your monitor because your computer has a virus.
5. TYLER, THE CREATOR
Tyler, The Creator – A rare example of Tyler displaying self-awareness. I’d have to agree with both of his statements in his second tweet. He shouldn’t be too worried though as there will always be an audience for a man like that – even if it’s only on ‘Fear Factor’.
4. RIHANNA
Rihanna – Rihanna paints a vivid metaphor where she infers the likening of a newspaper to toilet paper. This tweet marks the only time the bajan singer uses the words “fuckin” and “ass” and it’s far from hot.
[This pic however, is plenty hot...]
3. SLIM THUG
Slim Thug – In an earlier tweet Slim responded to a fan saying the hardest part of being a celebrity was constantly being available. Looks like he only wants the perks of being semi-famous and none of the drawbacks. Slim Thug wants to be able to tap that ass, and eat it too, but really only marginal celebrities talk about being a celebrity.
2. ICE T
Ice T – There’s a chasm of difference between being confident with your body, and exposing your manhood when it’s unnecessary. What is with dudes exposing themselves in the locker room, leaving their junk out flapping in the wind like a paper kite? Why would you need your pants off while you shave? In no way do pants interfere with the process of shaving. Do you also need to take your hat off when you’re taking a piss?
1. GAME
Game – You ever heard the intro to Canibus’s classic battle track ‘2nd Round Knockout’ where Mike Tyson is saying the rapper should “eat, eat, eat MCs…”? I don’t think this is what he had in mind (although it is Tyson, so who the hell knows). The Game is alluding to that crackpot in Florida that claimed to be high on bath salts while he killed and ate another man’s face. Ah, I yearn for the good ol’ days, when gas was cheap, Jordan still played ball, and rappers shot each other instead of threatening to chew their faces off.
