Luxury brand Golden Goose is selling a completely trashed, "Distressed" Superstar sneaker for $585. That's not a typo, I didn't forget to put in a decimal, the price of these duct-taped, beat up sneakers is $585.00 American dollars. For that price they better come correct with the sweet smell of hot garbage and lamb vindaloo. 

Complete with scuffed suede, ripped laces, and a sole that looks like it was dragged through the bottom of the Hudson river, these Italian-made kicks are the most outrageously priced item in the history of items. 

We know Golden Goose has made a name for themselves by producing pre-distressed goods with small pre-worn detailing, but this shoe looks like it has gone through a wood chipper. Something straight out of Mugatu's derelict campaign. 

And wouldn't you know it, there already sold out at Barneys!