10. Ludacris
Cris is right, there’s no reason a talented multi platinum recording artist should have lots of sex alone. For those of you who might not share Luda’s advantages in meeting members of the opposite sex don’t worry, he’s still giving you the go-ahead to have sex alone, just not “lots of” it.
9. The Game
Ladies, I’m empathetic to your plight, you’re under a lot of pressure to maintain an image, and maybe you weren’t born with the genes to have long lustrous hair. But if you’re putting enough pins, products and lord knows what else, on your head that your hair is as sharp as Kung Lao’s hat then you probably have overdone it.
8. Royce da 5'9
Detroit firemen – This is my place of birth and I can tell you that at this point setting a fire in Detroit is like flooding your bathtub in New Orleans during Katrina. Laid off firemen setting fires to create more work is a horrific thought. That’s like a homicide detective staging murders to ensure his department gets more funding…wait, didn’t that happen in Season 5 of “The Wire”?
7. Eminem
Robin Leach – Now, Eminem is brushing shoulders with Robin Leach? People will begin to wonder about Shady Aftermath if we find out Dr. Dre plays polo with Donald Trump.
6. Nicki Minaj
We all know the refrain “racks on racks on racks” but this would be “ass on ass on ass.” Think I might have to borrow binoculars, “Hi, Rihanna…”
5. Just Blaze
That’s about the most lewd censored tweet I’ve seen. Blaze is right though, going to a rave sober is like going to the skating rink in sandals.
4. Big K.R.I.T.
Depends what kind of coupons you’re referring to. Better not be the favor type lame-ass people get for the person they’re dating like “Redeemable for one back rub.” Also, if you’re bringing a girl somewhere on a first date that accepts coupons then you’re already screwed (figuratively, definitely not literally).
I know right, and this beef was apparently all over just Rihanna? Seriously though, I’d bottle my own grandmother if it meant I got to get with Rihanna and Nicki… “Hi, Rihanna…”
2. Chris Brown
– I really hope Brown is referring to himself and not taking a stab at Drake. Brown is the one known for pulling many tantrums, and then there was that time he did that pretty horrible thing to a pretty and wonderful girl “Bye, Rihanna…”. If you can’t handle VIP bottle service with your boys, and a bunch of bodyguards around you then I don’t know what you can handle.
1. Soulja Boy
Basically, Soulja Boy was in a car accident while driving his Bentley rendering it inoperable, and before you could say “Superman that ho….” he purchased an Audi. Twitter then showered him with well wishes and envy, as he told fans his life is more important than a $250K car…he paid cash for…and then replaced with a 2013 Audi. His life might be more important than that, don’t know about everyone else’s though.
